纪念
"I know for certain that we never lose the people we love, even to death. They continue to participate in every act, thought and decision we make. Their love leaves an indelible imprint on our memories. We find comfort in knowing that our lives have been enriched by having shared their love." -Leo Buscaglia
Hayleigh getting her third grade Bible
Always with us....
Thanksgiving - Mom putting the turkey Grandad ordered weeks ago in the oven early in the morning, the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and the arrival of Santa Claus, delicious smells throughout the house all day, Nano and Grandad, Mom and Daddy, Sally, Jenny and me gathered around the table for great food, sometimes having the Hammerses or our boyfriends there, Cold Duck, Nano's giblet gravy, THE BEST STUFFING IN THE WORLD!!!!, the men (and later Mom) watching football and leftovers. We were so lucky to have all those great memories!
This is the first year of my life without Mom in it. It's strange. But we have great New Year's memories too. After we had all gathered back in Naperville we got in the habit of spending New Year's Eve together at Sally's. I think it may have started in 2000 when we all met at Sally's and went to see the Naperville fireworks for the New Millenium. We would play games and talk and laugh and maybe watch some TV or a movie. After we moved to Georgia we still made it back for a few New Years' Eves and then we added a big Christmas dinner and presents to the evening. This year was a little different. We got together at Sally's but decided to forego the turkey and order out: Chinese and pizza! Then we opened Christmas presents. Mom was very much with us as we still sat together at the table with our traditional Christmas dishes. She is missed but she left us each other.
Mom always did make Christmastime special for everyone. She would shop and shop for the perfect gift for everyone. She loved Christmas carols, surprises and most of all spending time with her family. We had so many wonderful Christmas memories, wrapping presents together, watching white Christmas, singing carols and yes as Sue said, her stuffing, no one will ever make stuffing like hers.
My Christmas memories, both as a child and as an adult, always include Mom even when she wasn't nearby. Shopping together, decorating, Christmas parties she threw for my friends, the best stuffing ever possible, mountains of presents, too many things to list! Christmas was one of her favorite times and she completely enjoyed everything about it. The last few years we worked on building our villages. She had great Christmas albums and one of the things I loved to do was play with the candles, choir boys, deer, angels, etc., and have them "sing" along with the music. She left me the greatest Christmas memories possible.
We just got back from Great Britain and since it was really Mom's trip I thought this belonged here. She would have really enjoyed everything, especially the William Wallace Monument. She was with us everywhere we went and we never stopped thinking about her.
I was thinking of Mom at the fireworks last night. Lots of happy fireworks memories. I was remembering when I burned my shortie pajamas with a sparkler when I was little back in the days we would go to the big field next to the high school all ready for bed, the years we all went to the fireworks at Ribfest, the great fireworks displays we all saw in downtown Naperville at the turn of the millenium and at Disney a few months later and the time Mom and Daddy came to visit over the Fourth and we watched fireworks at the Mall of Georgia. This year everyone was scattered, me and Dave here in Georgia and the Paynes in Mexico. I can't wait until we are all together for the fireworks again but it won't ever be the same again without Mom.
I know what Jenny means . Just yesterday, I needed some information from Jenny and couldn't reach her. I tried Sally and couldn't get her either. So then I thought, "Well, I'll just call Mom!". This happens at least once a day. I'm not sure I want that to go away.
The other day Hayleigh and Gary and I were driving somewhere and I heard her naming somehing in the car, such as a crumb, and Gary telling her a story about it. All I could think was I couldn't wait to tell my mom that Hayleigh had a story teller like my grandad. That has happened so often in the last several weeks. So many things I think, "I can't wait to call mom and tell her," or "I can't wait to show this to mom." I am told that will never go away and I know that is true. In the months before she passed, I often had her say to me that something had happened and her first thought was to tell her dad. I don't know when is starts to get easier, because it continues to get harder most days. I miss her so much, I just wish I had one more day. But I guess then I would want another and another. I just have so many more things to share with her.
The last time Mom and Daddy visited us in Georgia together was such a fun time. First of all, imagine a visit where no one ended up in the hospital! Mom and I saw Julie and Julia and loved it. All four of us went to Marietta one day. We had lunch on the sidewalk at a Turkish restaurant. Then we walked down to the Gone With the Wind Museum. One weekend we went to Savannah. Mom and Jenny loved Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil and so we had a whole weekend of experiencing this. We went to Bonaventure Cemetery and saw Johnny Mercer's grave, we went to the other cemetery and saw the graves of some of the people from the book. We took the house tour and went to the Mercer Home and saw where the murder happened. We went on a ghost tour (which wasn't great but we still had fun). We ate at the Pirate House (haunted!). We met Uga's niece! While on the "Midnight..." tour, we met a woman and her daughter just about our ages. They told us the Lady Chablis was in town and they were going to see her perform. I asked Mom if she wanted to go and she said, "Could we?" So that night we went to the little Club One and bought tickets. We waited in the tiny foyer forever with the people we met on the tour and then had to go up about 25 stairs to the club! Mom got up the stairs just fine. We got a front row seat with our new friends, I got us some drinks and the show started. There were five or six other acts and then the Lady Chablis came on. It was so much fun. Mom even got up and handed her a dollar with everyone else. I said to Mom that I never imagined that in my fifties I would be in a gay bar watching female impersonators with my mother! After the show, we hung around with our friends and got to meet Chablis. She (yes, she, there is no other way to describe her, she is a total lady) was so kind to Mom, talked to her for awhile and had their picture taken together. Then we got to the long stairs and Mom hesitated and said she didn't think she could make it down. All of a sudden two or three of the young men who worked in the bar surrounded her and helped her down the stairs and out to the car and left us after hugs all around! We had such a great time. Later that week Mom said she wanted to buy a robe to keep at my house so she went to Kohl's and bought one. Dave got a hook to hang it on their bedroom door. Every time I look at that robe I can't believe she's not coming back.
Every year for Easter Sally and I would get new dresses (usually matching!) and Easter bonnets. On Easter morning we would get up and look for the baskets the Easter bunny had hidden, around four or five each tucked away around the house, and after indulging in some marshmallow chickens and bunnies we would dress up and go to church. Usually we would have company for Easter dinner, most of the time it was the Hammers family, and Grandad would always make sure we had lamb-shaped cake and butter!
I lived at home into my early twenties. Mom and Daddy's bedroom was right next to the kitchen. Sometimes I would come home late at night and go to the fridge for a drink or a snack. No matter how late it was, without fail, as soon as I opened the fridge door, I would hear Mom yelling, "Don't touch the Christmas cookies, they're for the party!" or "There is only enough ham for lunches!". It was so annoying! When I moved into my own apartment, the first time I went to the fridge when I came home from work late at night, I actually froze and waited. Nothing. From then on every time I went to the fridge I wished she would yell at me. It's like that now. I wish she was still here to "annoy" me.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
.
Nancy you were a funny girl with hair as white as snow.
Not angry or judgmental these feelings would never show.
Your love was anchored firmly with your family and also Johnny Depp.
No longer bound by this world, we wish you well as you take the first new step.
So don’t be sad when you gaze upon us from up above.
The memories that you shared with us warm our hearts with love.
The wonders you will see and the things that you will know.
Who shot JFK and where did Jimmy Hoffa go?
Go now travel onward head towards the light.
Just don’t help yourself to Gods fries he might find it in-polite.
Embrace the adventure that awaits you as you journey through your spirit life.
Just know you will be remembered fondly as a friend, a mother and a loving wife.
.
Posted by Kotae at 6:44 PM
A few of my many memories:
Soft boiled egg and toast in a cup
Getting Toffee bars at Oswald's
Walking to church on Sunday mornings in the summertime
Having my mom make twirling costumes for us
Going to McDonald's for lunch with Grandad to see my mom while she was working
Holding hands while one of us was in the hospital
Help she gave on all homework assignments, she got much more interested than I did in many
Having her read "Treasure Island" and "Tom Sawyer" to me
Christmas shopping
Sitting up late at night watching movies or whatever TV show we were trying to catch up on
Drinking beer and singing "Margaritaville" at the Phyrst with my mom
Doing ceremics
Scrapbooking at Ruthann's
Planning for my wedding
Our vacaton to Hawaii and the two of us just sitting on the sand
Picnics she would take us on to Lake Le-Aqua-Na
Driving back and forth between IL and PA
Going garage sale hunting and going to Einstein Bros for egg bagel sandwiches
Playing backgammon until the wee hours of the night
Camping
So many memories she has made for us all.
I have so many fond memories. I met Nancy for the first time when she gave me a ride home from school in 5th grade. The Houston's had just moved to Freeport and it was Jenny's 1st day there. She drove a white Mustang, w/ blue and red detailing! When she picked Jenny up, she asked me if I wanted a ride home, so I said, "sure!". Nancy asked us how our day was, and we replied, in sync, "boring!" She began giving me a ride home every day,always asking how our day was, and we always had the same answer. Jenny has been my best friend ever since! She took us fishing at Lake-Le-Aqua-Na. Can't forget about the time Jenny drove me to Greencastle to go to a concert. We were supposed to be there for a weekend, but got snowed in for 5 days. We had so much fun just watching movies, and I remember how cool it was that Nancy was singing Bon Jovi songs w/ us! It was great when Nancy and Jenny came to a scrapbooking workshop with me. I was just thrilled that Nancy and Phil came to my wedding, and that she came to see me at the hospital when I had my son. She also made it to many of their birthday parties. I always thought of her as my 2nd Mom!
Some random memories:
Bumgall
Swimming at Hershey Park pool
Spending all night on a bus coming home from a competition, sleeping all day and having Mom wake me up with one of those great deli sandwiches from Jewel in time for Dark Shadows
Lipton chicken noodle soup for lunch
Watching Halloween every Halloween
Buying the head circlets at Medeival Times and having our husbands think we were acting like little kids
That rich lady
Creature Features
Mom singing Little Old Lady and Bye Bye Little Fat Susan to me in the rocking chair
Mrs. Robinson
Weekend in Savannah and going to see the Lady Chablis
Sleeping on the couch in Greencastle and waking up to see the statue of St. Francis Mom painted for me
The guys
Our Sunday breakfasts when you visited us in Georgia
Trying to convince Mom that the picture Sally and I took of the plastic deer was not real
Topol in Fiddler on the Roof twice!
The Valentine heart pillow with the gifts attached
Every Christmas getting at least one game the whole family could play
ALL Christmases
Our Titanic party
Disney vacation
Afternoon ghost tour with Richard Crowe
Shopping for and trading books
Thursday night grocery shopping at Cub Foods, dinner at Mom and Daddy's and Hershey bars
Beautiful handmade Christmas stockings
Togetherness
The best turkey dinners in the world!
"....Zion Lutheran Church. I grew up in this church. So many of my early childhood memories are of Zion; first year in Sunday school playing in the sandbox and marching around the room, singing, until our parents came to pick us up; earning ribbons for memorizing the books of the Bible (from the same teacher who taught my dad!); when we were older, holding our own "junior church" during worship services.....I can smell that smell that such wonderful old buildings like Zion have acquired with their many years of service. It is easy to see why I returned there for my wedding."
After her honeymoon "we returned to our first home together. Phil was a herdsman on Millarden Farms in Annville, New Jersey. Our house was provided by the company. We returned to the very fine house....additionally 'decorated" by family and friends after the wedding. The 'decorations' had to be removed before we could settle down for the night. But 'settling down' was not meant to be! Shortly atfter the lights went out a clamor started up in the yard! The other Millarden employees arrived for a 'shiveree', a serenade like no other, rooted in the Pennsylvania Dutch traditions. A very noisy but warm, 'welcome home'.....And so our life together began!"
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